cats are weird

31 03 2011

disclaimer: i am not, and never will be, a cat person. belly is an exception.

before i even start, can i just say- mad props to wordpress for making my blog look so effing awesome on an iPad. i heart you, wordpress.

if you know me, you know i’m not a cat person. hate the species in general. but, if you know me, you also know that i am now a 6-month-in cat owner. i took in an unfortunate tiny black-and-white kitten one night in late september. i took her in thinking i would save her from a life on the streets, maybe foster her for a bit then let her move on with her catty little life, right. 6 months later, we’re still here. she’s set up shop, picked out a favorite chair (thanks, ikea!). she’s the proud ower of a large luxury litter box that self-cleans (that’s more for my benefit than hers) and she even has a fancy automatic feeder since i tend to wander off for days at a time. in short, she’s moved in. for the long haul. and while i’m still unsure as to whether cats are my deal, this little one is definitely one of my people.

posing. you know.

her name is isabella, for “real names” sake, but i call her belly. one, because it’s short for her “real name.” two, because i couldn’t really wrap my head around the name izzy (which the fam likes to call her). i like the name belly though. she’s definitely got one. she eats one whole hell of a lot. i’m actually surprised she’s not bigger than she is. (if you care: she’s a whopping 10 pounder.)

i recently learned black-and-white cats that look like belly are called tuxedo kittens. i find this absolutely hilarious. why? because she’s a lot like those tuxedo t-shirts. you know, of the “i want to be formal, but i’m here to party” genre. she tries to be all formal cat-like and all, or appear as such, but she’s really just a silly little thing who’s not quite right in the head.

oh nothing. just hangin out waiting for my fancy feeder to gimme some.

i don’t know much about cats… but this one is weird. i’m used to being around puppies. puppies are always happy to see you… they want to share every moment with you (unless that moment is tearing the meat off a bone, of course), they want to stare into your eyes and make sure you’re giving them every bit of attention you got, they are ready to love you every minute they can possibly stay awake. cats? i don’t think they get this idea. cats are more like, “oh hey” when you walk in the door, and then go back to what they were doing. cats hear ‘NO MA’AM!!” and they look at you and look around all like, “i know she doesn’t think she’s yelling at me… who else is here?” cats think everything you own is their property. cats also think they’re cool because they can jump higher than you can. not cool, cats. cats also make some strange-ass noises. i don’t know what cats usually say, but belly asks questions, she makes statements, and she also talks back. i have no effing idea what she says, but she definitely says something in her effed-up cat language. i also think she’s got a messed up noise-maker in there…. that whole purring thing? she does that pretty much 24/7 and it’s kinda out of tune. on top of the purring, she also makes really weird noises when she lands on whatever she’s jumping too, and it sounds like a broken rattle in a toy.

my approach with the cat thing from the start was to start off treating her like a puppy. i’ve heard if you do that, they might turn into halfway normal socialized creatures. i can’t tell if it quite works all the time, but it seems to be working half the time. half the time she keeps to herself on my ikea chair or the windowsill, and half the time she’s reaching up to pet my face or she’s jumped up on my shoulders to play with my hair or she’s busy trying to head-butt my forehead or even chew on my chin (ew. i know.)… i tolerate this ok because i figure, hey. she’s trying to be like i want her to be, even if she doesn’t quite understand it. even if it’s really effing weird. so… gohead on, belly. just keep being your weirdo self. it’s expected. i think we’re well-suited for each other.

yours,
James